Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

Bill Goldberg challenges Gunther for Saturday Night’s Main Event on July 12th in Atlanta, GA - NoDQ.com

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

Have you been arrested or investigated?

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

Were Dalits prohibited from drinking water from wells in ancient times? Is there any evidence to support this claim?

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

I see through liars

Why is Prince Harry being fired by BetterUp CEO Alexi Robichaux, and what role did Marc Benioff’s decision to pull sponsorship play in this?

I have complete contempt for fakery

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

If our normal body temperature is 98.6 degrees Fahrenheit, why do we perceive weather in the 90s as "hot?"

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

I don’t buy bullshit

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

Is it true that Jehovah's witnesses once thought the world would end in 1975?

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

Why cant I motivate myself to go to school (grade 10)?

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

What are the main issues that have historically and currently divided Republicans and Democrats?

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

There was this one weird Bollywood movie that was released in the 2000s. Amitabh Bachchan was starring with another actress and the story was about how the old guy (Amitabh Bachchan) fell in love with the young woman. What is the name of this movie?

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

I have a reading level above third grade

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

Why do you think Filipinos are conservatives?

I don’t cotton to rapists

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

Do you consider yourself pretty?

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I know who the president of Turkey really is

Separating Material 3 Expressive from Android 16 was Google's smartest move all year - Android Police

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I can read

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I actually pay taxes

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I understand how hurricane paths work

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I can count